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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Feb 28, 2007 6:40am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Clearer heads

I do want to apologize for stepping way over the line with my inappropriate post. I take full responsibility for my words and actions, right or wrong.

However, I think that there is a difference between politely telling someone that he has offended and ripping into him like a pack of wolves (oops--no personal slam intended). This is a board that should be freely enjoyed by everyone, though it should not be sullied with posts like mine. Nor should it be a place where seniority gives anyone the right to act in a superior manner. Everyone is a newbie at first.

Had I been peeking in to Desolation Row after my post, I would have realized more quickly the offense it and I gave and been more quick to apologize (and less defensive) and remove it. Instead, I pop on a few hours later and discover that I am suddenly a pariah and the subject of a lynch mob. "If thine eye offend, thee, then pluck it out." Your incredibly hostile torching does as much damage to the board as the offending post ; it once again reveals that this is no place of peace and love (but then again, neither were the Dead). It is a place where, should someone step in it, one, then, two, then twelve members suddenly pile it on without thought to intention or context or anything other than a sudden attack of self-righteousness. Instead of judging me by all my posts, you judge me by one misfire.

Back a step: I do not mean to state or imply that none of you had the right to be so offended or to respond; it is HOW you respond. How do you think someone is going to react to that amount of stoning? Repentant? Or angry in return? Instead of being given the opportunity to see that my post was way over the top and that it had no place here and that it did offend unanimously, you placed my in a defensive posture. Hard to be contrite when you feel vilified.

And, after I clearly and sincerely apologized to the recipient of the post, the invective only increased.
One person in particular would not accept my apology--oh, hell, did any of you? What, then, is the point of apologizing, of admitting I was wrong? And then I am told that I am a child, a worthless newbie--well, tempers are rising and the personal insults are flying and that just doesn't help matters at all.

The responses clearly indicated that the respondents felt as individuals and as a group that I am an immoral, foul mouthed, insensitive, lout who has no business being on this board. Is that your true positions? Shall we take a vote on the matter?

To Dire Wolf in particular. Our exchanges were (both of us)
governed by anger and not wisdom. I know you have been here for many years and have earned a reputation as a leader in this tribe. I salute you for that. You clearly care about the band AND about this forum. And your comments were meant to protect its integrity. BUT there are ways and there are ways. And there is leadership and there is leadership. You and SDH could cool it on the ongoing cow joke if this sort of thing offends people. Me, I don't care: it's frankly funny and shows the strong bond that the two of you have. But the flames of anger do not put out fires; instead they add to the destruction.

I take this opportunity to apologize to you personally for posting something that was that offensive and for criticizing your posts. I am sorry that we got into a mud flinging, foolish fight over something that should never have occurred in the first place.

To SomeDarkHollow: I haven't seen one post from you since yesterday afternoon. A wise man you are for steering clear of the fray, and I salute you for your restraint.
But I do not wish to be party to anything that would interfere with or in anyway curtail your postings. It is my hope that the board will shortly see the touting of a new find of the suggestion for a group listen or anything else that comes to mind.


It's a shame that this happened, and I will shoulder the full responsibility if that will resolve the issue.

But this will not solve the problem of these personal attacks that seem to pop up every few weeks. I would ask in return that each of you who flamed me and each of you who would have if you had the courage or energy to search yourselves and ask whether my gaffe really warranted that much whipping.

And, if you still feel what you feel, that I am a gross and perverted individual with no respect for this place, then please do me the favor of stating so. I appreciate Sugaree83s attempt to move on, and I have an answer (I have made for myself a six cd compilation). But I am, at present, extremely uncomfortable and reluctant to post. It's as if I am a sex offender who has moved into your neighborhood. Dare I show my face, or will the villagers stone me? If I have been blackballed, then why waste my time and yours?


What say you?

MODIFICATION:

Dancinbears: I wish also to apologize to you, not as a woman (for that would be sexist and shallow), but as a person.

Your response was the correct one. You are always able to maintain a calm within the storm--to remember that we are here to enjoy each other and not to . . . .

I am reminded of the ending of "The Weight":

................... you know she's the only one.
Who sent me here with her regards for everyone.


This post was modified by ghostofpig on 2007-02-28 14:40:59

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Feb 28, 2007 6:58am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Hello Ghost.

I enjoy reading your posts and I hope you’ll continue to share your thoughts with us. I’d gladly relinquish the title of wordsmith to you, for you write far more eloquently and with a greater sense of humour than I could ever manage. Your mastery of invective, sir, is a constant joy to me.

You made a simple error of judgement yesterday, nothing more. It was a question, I feel, of not realising that offence would be taken, rather than trying to give offence. Dare I suggest that you credited your audience with more sophistication than it possessed? Your recent exchanges with SDH have on occasion made for uncomfortable reading to the casual browser – so very good are you both at the calculated insult it can sometimes be difficult to see the humour laced through it. No matter. The reader’s failures cannot be laid at the door of the author.

People will grumble. But people will move on. It’s what we do.

By the way, I thought your edit of the offending post was quite wonderfully funny. Absolutely spot on in many ways. Must have made uncomfortable reading for some.

And now back to our regularly scheduled music broadcasts. I’ve rather been enjoying this one of late:
www.archive.org/details/gd1970-11-08.aud.weiner.28609.sbeok.shnf

The ‘Dancin’ in the streets’ jam is quite unbelievably good.

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:02am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Thank you.

My rewrite included myself in the mix. We are all a little crazy around the edges.

My kind of people.

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Poster: rastamon Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:26am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

I stand corrected -I'd forgotten your 1/8 post:

"no matter what someone or I say there is someone there to noticed something and make comment or interpert it differantly then intended." But isn't that exactly what you did in your attacks? See, we all misinterpret things. A given poster may have the best of intentions but doesn't express it in the right way; or he may realize that what was written didn't sit well. That's why we have apologies! (And let me apologize in advance for anything I might need to apologize for now or then or later or whenever)

You apologized in advance- stupid me! This is my last post concerning yesterday. Peace

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Poster: wineland Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:21am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

GoP - If you feel you must go, then go in peace. I don't think that is necessary. I truly enjoy your posts and wish you to stay. Let's all move on and respect our peers.

I pulled out an old chestnut on this snowy morning in Portland, OR. Perhaps this will brighten everyone's spirits: http://www.archive.org/details/gd78-11-24.sbd.prefm.13948.sbefail.shnf

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:06am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

I have no interest in going anywhere. I just wanted to make sure that the episode had not put me so firmly in the doghouse as to invalidate my posting existence.

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Poster: rastamon Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:17am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

i too, wish to be well, thought of in the anals of posting history. A great 2/2/70 show here >>
http://www.dimeadozen.org/torrents-details.php?id=135759

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Poster: JamminJerome Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:59am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

that's funny...listening to the end of that right now. I actually posted this show last night, but it was at the end of a thread and probably largely unread.

what a killer show!

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Poster: wineland Date: Feb 28, 2007 8:02am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Have always loved this show. It was my second tape I got. Played the hell out of it. They were fired up that night.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:21am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Hey ghost,

You are correct. There is a definite difference between politely telling someone what they wrote may carry repurcussions, as opposed to taking my approach. My approach is one of my failings as a human being.

My concern was certainly not the jesting between you and SDH. Far from it. It is and was, like you mentioned, the integrity of this site and this board with which i was concerned. This site is funded by organizations such as the Hewlett Foundation, The Sloan Foundation, The National Science Foundation, etc. Should the "wrong" person be offended by extreme pornographic language, it is possible we may lose our forum. Or, some or all of us could be banned. Maybe it is unlikely - but one never knows, and that was the thought that went firing through my small mind after reading your post.
I am by no means perfect in my posts, but i do endeavor to keep things "PG." If i slip, i try to edit.

I too apologize to you for the mud flinging and for my choice of words in lambasting you on the forum yesterday afternoon and last night. It has not been the first time I have gone over the top on this forum, but I hope it is the last (unless absolutely necessary, which this was not).

Anyways, let this be a better day, put yesterday behind us all, and move on to better places and kinder words.

dire

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Poster: William Tell Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:41am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Thanks, Dire...

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Feb 28, 2007 7:48am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

What he said.

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Poster: mickmac Date: Feb 28, 2007 8:01am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Even though I don't chime in as much as I want...have a hard time putting thoughts on paper...I do spend much time with you all and respect all of you. These family squabbles all pass eventually and we are after all just human. You all help with my sanity and insanity and constantly point me to new directions. No matter what happened or will happen I just wanted to say thanks.

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Poster: Jerrob Hungar Date: Feb 28, 2007 11:11am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

and thanks to you mickmac...well expressed...exactly my sentiments...and that goes for everyone including you smi2les...if you love the music you're part of the great grateful dead family too...non sequiturs and pythonesque humour is alright with me...

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Feb 28, 2007 8:01am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

"Just one thing I ask of you"

(legitimate, not smartass "please" below)

please don't use poster's real first names on the board ok?? it kinda makes some uncomfy (not trying to be an asshole or start something up)

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

What was your first name again?

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:30am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

very funny

(you know that to which i refer mr. smartypants)

This post was modified by direwolf0701 on 2007-02-28 17:30:14

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Poster: SDH2O Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:33am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

I think we can all agree that Francis has a point here.


Seiously, I agree. The screen of anonymity here allows for freer expression and we should make sure that is kept intact. If one wants to reveal more personal info, that should be his/her choice alone. Besides, I don't like most of you and really don't want to be that familiar with any of you.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:44am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Francis?????

Oh, is that supposed to be me???

well, if that be the case, that would be Sir Francis to you then Mr. Bumblebunny!!!

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Poster: ghostofpig Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:40am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

I would jump on the word familiar, but I've already been to the woodshed once this week.

If we all knew each others' names, we wouldn't have to come up with these silly monikers.

Besides, I thought your first name was Dire, Mr. Wolf.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:47am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

just to alleviate any confusion and actually provide some personal info to you kind folk:

my first name is Asshole just in case anyone is curious.

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Poster: rastamon Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:52am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

my name is Earl

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Poster: Earl B. Powell Date: Feb 28, 2007 12:45pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Hey...wait a minute, my name is Earl! Another hijacked identity...someone call a cop.

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Poster: rastamon Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

...and really don't want to be that familiar with any of you.

That really hurts, SDH. I had dreams of developing an indepth relationship with you

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Poster: SDH2O Date: Feb 28, 2007 9:54am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

I will take that as a compliment.

A sick, twisted and socially unclean compliment.

By the way, the name is SDH, not STD.

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Poster: SDH2O Date: Feb 28, 2007 6:19am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Very well stated and we should all recognize that GOP has taken the first step by admission of "stepping over the line". As I have always loved about this place, self-policing always seems to be the strongest asset that we have. Yes, things flare up every now and then between folks here, but we all seem to be man (or woman) enough to eventually step back, take a breath and reassess things, taking responsibility for what we may have done personally. My only hope is that there has been no permanent damage done here. We may have briefly stepped off the train, but it is still waiting for us to get back on and continue the ride (and if folks choose, they can sit in seperate coaches).

Was giving a brief listen to the U or OR 69 show and there is a quite humorous and rather lengthy example of some fine stage banter in the first set, some may find it quite enjoyable on Friday.

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Poster: dyermaker81 Date: Feb 28, 2007 6:41am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

:)

Attachment: sheep.gif

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Poster: cush11 Date: Feb 28, 2007 11:42am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Clearer heads

Good on you all... I wasn't home yesterday, but I am pleased things have been worked out and all will be friends again (except SDH, you stay on your side of the valley and I'll stay on mine ;) Clearer Heads have indeed prevailed...

And a fine good morning to all!

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